Zelda's Big Problem
by DynoStretch
Summary: My first and only Zelda FA fic. Wanna know what that means? Check it out for yerself. Don't say I didn't warn you though...


Okay, first things first: I don't own Zelda, so not sue.

Second of all: This is a "FA" fic, or better known as a "fat admirer" fic, where a certain girl (or girls) gets really... um... fat. To be honest I'm not into this kinda stuff at all. I was forced to write due to losing a bet by an odd friend of mine. So if you don't feel like reading this kinda stuff just click Back. I can promise you I tried to make it funny with my own blend of humor and pop culture references.

Third of all: I like pie. oo

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"Urp…" Zelda burped out as she walked into her room and laid down on her bed after taking a bath and changing into her nightgown. Being a princess, it was typical for her to have to attend social gatherings with kings and queens of other lands, including eating food from their native homes. But lately, after the fall of Ganondorf, more and more kingdoms have been coming to Hyrule to meet the King, the princess, and Link, the fearless boy who triumphed over the wicked sorcerer that had attacked many lands to seek power.

All these meetings Zelda had to go to meant having lots of big dinners with the rulers. She was expected to eat a lot, to make the guests feel pleased. Eating too little or not at all might cause the other rulers to feel the Hyrulean people didn't care much for them. Though it was good for the kingdom, Zelda felt sick to her stomach every night due to these huge feasts she had to eat.

"I swear, I think I'm going to chuck…" Zelda said to herself groaning. Tonight she had to have Holodrum Kingdom's grand feast of roast Molderm (A/N: ick… XP) with lots of side dishes. As her advisor Midon suggested, she ate a large portion of the feast, which indeed made Holodrum's mayor quite happy. Zelda was pleased she was able to help the bond between the two kingdoms, but her stomach still gurgled in pain from being over stuffed.

"Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow…" Zelda said as she blew out the candle by her bed and went to sleep.

---

The next morning, Zelda rose from bed and stretched. She slowly got up and went to get changed into her typical royal dress. However, this morning something was wrong.

"This is odd…" Zelda said, "I can't seem to get my belt on…"

Zelda pulled on the small belt that went around her waist to get it to fasten shut. It took some work but she was able to get it to fasten. She looked down at it oddly, coming to the conclusion that her dress must have shrunk when the dry-cleaner cleaned her dress yesterday morning.

Ignoring it, she went down to the dining room to have breakfast. She looked down at her normal breakfast for the day… a pancake and some fruit. She didn't know why, but she felt as if that wasn't enough for her today. She called the cooks to make her breakfast a little bigger.

Soon the cooks arrived with a stack of 5 pancakes and some bacon. Zelda thanked them and gobbled it down quite fast. She was shocked to find that she finished the whole meal in one sitting. She shrugged and went off to the Market to meet someone…

---

"Hi Link!" Zelda yelled, waving to Link in an alley. The blond haired elf turned to Zelda and smiled to see her run into his arms.

"Morning babe." Link said with a bright smile as he hugged Zelda tightly. Oddly, it might have just been him, but it seemed Zelda was slightly softer then she used to be. "So what do we have planned for tonight?"

"Sorry Link, but Labyrana's King is coming tonight and I have to be there to greet him." Zelda said sadly.

"Damn, those guys just won't leave you alone will they? I hope you don't have to eat until you're sick again…" Link said with worry written on his face. Zelda giggled and kissed him on the nose.

"It's okay, I'll try to have smaller portions then I'm normally advised to do. In fact, how bout we get lunch at noon? That should fill me up some so I won't be hungry for dinner as bad. Plus we'll get to have a nice date." Zelda suggested with a wink.

"Sounds good to me my princess." Link said with a smirk.

---

The two had chosen a nice restaurant to eat at, and Zelda seemed to really enjoy the food. She had wound up ordering three of the meals on the menu and finished them all. Link was confused as to how she could eat all that, but shrugged it off and paid for dinner. Thanks to rupees being readily available in the grass and over the drawbridge money wasn't a problem for the Hylian hero.

Zelda had thought with this big lunch she would be able to not eat to much for dinner, but as a surprise when the dinner started, she not only ate as much as her adviser suggested but more…

---

This went on for quite a while, and it became aware to Zelda that she starting to gain quite a bit of weight. Between her lunches with Link and the huge breakfasts and dinners she had at the castle, she was packing it on pretty well.

Shortly after Link had brought down Ganondorf and the kingdom was at peace, Zelda was barely 17 years old and weighed a reasonable 115 pounds. Now she was nearing her 18th birthday in 5 months and looked to be about 148 pounds. The weight she had been pilling on was showing quite well. Her belly had bulged out quite a bit, her hips were getting wider, and even breasts had gone from an A cup to a small B cup. Link noticed this but didn't think too much of it. He still loved Zelda no matter how she looked.

Zelda had to get a new wardrobe when she reached down to pick a flower from the garden and her now bigger butt ripped a hole in the dress, embarrassingly enough. She was relieved that not only did the dresses do well to hide her belly but the new bra was very much more comfortable then her old one.

…didn't last long though.

---

With her bigger belly it obviously led to a bigger appetite. A month later she was having at least 4 courses of lunch a day and about 5 of dinner. Link had to pull off some acrobatic skills to get the reappearing red rupees over the drawbridge often to afford Zelda's large lunches, but he didn't mind at all. She had gone from 148lbs to 198 and still not showing any signs of stopping. Her belly and hips were getting larger and larger and she needed to be refitted with new dresses every month or so. The royal tailors were also having a hell of a time making bras comfortable enough to hold Zelda's now CC cup breasts. Strangely, despite her bigger girth, everything from her neck up remained just the way they had always been.

Like Link, the king didn't seem to mind his daughter's ballooning up, and often encouraged it by allowing her midnight snack runs to the fridge… only you can't really call them "runs", more like midnight snack waddles.

---

A few weeks later after a grand feast courtesy of the Beanbean Kingdom, Zelda, who was now weighing in at 236 pounds, waddled up the stairs to her bedroom. Her adviser Midon bid the king and his guests goodnight as he went off to his own chambers. Upon closing the door to his room, Midon snickered evilly.

"Heh heh… all goes according to planned… I'll keep encouraging Zelda to eat more and more, and when the King passes away, she will only be able to become queen if she has a husband… But thanks to her being such a fat ass pig now, no one will ever want to wed her… except me… And after we marry and I assume power of the throne, I'll hire an assassin to kill her, allowing me to take a normal wife as my queen…"

Midon laughed maniacally at his great plan working, making people who passed by the door question the sanity of the advisor.

---

The next day, Zelda met with Link again in their usual meeting place. Link grinned and hugged her, giving her a soft kiss on the lips. Zelda moaned a bit and broke the kiss. She looked at Link, who was blinking in confusion, and asked, "Link… do you think I'm fat?"

Link sweatdropped. He had been trying his hardest not to point out her large weight gain, and wasn't expecting her to ask him. Luckily, Link had a keen mind for solving puzzles, like the ones in dungeons, and knew exactly what to say.

"Zelda, I think you're the most beautiful thing in all of Hyrule. I don't care if you weighed 100 or 1000, I'd still love you just the same." Link said smiling. Zelda's eyes teared up as she hugged Link tightly, unaware that she was squeezing his face between her now D cup breasts.

"Thank you Link!" Zelda said, "That means so much to me!"

"Face… squeeze… hug… breasts…" Link said in a muffled voice.

---

And so the food frenzy continued. Zelda had grown considerably over the next two months, now weighing in at 345 pounds. Her breasts had reached the DD area a while ago and she sometimes felt like her gut was going to pop.

About a week before her 18th birthday however, something terrible happened. The king of Hyrule was found dead in his bedroom with a knife impaled in his chest. Besides the loss of her father, now Zelda had to marry within a month or less she'd lose the throne. Midon snickered a bit at the funeral, knowing there was no one who would ever marry the princess now.

"Zel, you gonna be okay?" Link asked by Zelda's side. She sobbed and cried against Link's chest as they watched the king's casket being lowered into the tomb they had built for him. Link cupped Zelda's chin his palm and kissed her softly in an attempt to help her through this ordeal, which she gladly returned. Midon looked over to see Link and Zelda locked together and cringed a bit.

'Shit!' Midon thought, 'I didn't know green boy was with her! Why does he still like her anyway? This is going to ruin everything!' Thinking to himself, Midon then grinned again, 'I'll just have to get rid of him first…'

Leaving the funeral site, Midon headed off to the Market and located an old shed in one of the darkest alleys of town. He knocked on the door, and it slowly opened. The figure that had opened the door's eyes narrowed.

"What wishings of evil do you be wanting of me to grant now?" the figure asked.

"There's been a change in plans…" Midon said, "Unknown to me, Link, the Hero of Time has been dating Zelda and will most likely propose to her now that she needs to be married. I need you to eliminate Link so that I can assume the throne."

"Killing of just the Hyrule king and princess was covered in the bountiness of money given to me by you…" the figure pointed out.

Midon rolled his eyes as he pulled out a large bag of rupees and tossed it to the figure, who caught it.

"Is that enough for you now?" Midon asked. The figured counted the money, then flashed a big, creepy grin.

"Very muching so…"

---

"Hmm…" Link mumbled to himself as he glanced around at the various rings at the Hyrule Market jewelry store. Suddenly, a chubby man with a short moustache popped up from behind the counter and said in a high pitched tone, "YEEeeeeeeeeesssssss? How may I hEEeeeeeelp you?"

Link stood up and looked the man face-to-face. "Uh, yeah, I was looking for a wedding engagement ring. Can you show me the best ring you got?"

"YEEeeeeeessssssss!" the man said with a wide smile as he pulled out a wedding ring box. He handed Link a wielding mask to wear and put on one himself. With both of them wearing the protective masks, the jewelry store owner opened the box, revealing a diamond that was almost as bright as the sun. The store owner closed the box and he and Link removed their masks.

"Perfect! I'll take it!" Link said, "How much?"

"OOOoooonly 9,999 rupEEEEEeess.." the man said.

"9,999 rupees?!?" Link exclaimed, then a second later said "Okay." He pulled out his rupee pouch and dumped 50 gold rupees down in front of him.

"ThAAAAAaaannk you!" the store owner said, "COOooome again!"

"Why do you talk like that anyway?" Link asked, taking the ring box.

"I had a steerOOooooooke!" the man said, keeping his big grin.

---

Link walked out the jewelry store, muttering how exactly he was going to propose to the girl he loved.

"Hmm… Will you marry me?… no… Zel, how's about we get hitched… no… Zelda, remember that time we got drunk an-… no… Zelda, I lo-"

"You endingness is now fink-rat!" yelled a voice.

"Huh?" Link asked looking around. Suddenly, a figure leaped from a rooftop and landed down in front of Link. The figure was a short green skinned creature with swirly eyed glasses, a big creepy looking grin on his face, an unusual metallic piece of headgear on his head, and wore a red cape that covered most of his body.

"I am the most best assassin around, whose name is Fawful! I have made comings to be here and inflict the pain of hurtness to you, Hero of Time Link!" the creature said.

"…what the hell did you say?" Link asked confused, making Fawful crash down.

"You idiot of foolishness!" Fawful yelled, "This here is your halting place right now! Your life that I spit on will be but a caricature of a cartoon drawn by a kid who is stupid!"

Link knew this guy was clearly insane, and was about to turn and leave the other way when a ball of fire came down in front of him and exploded, creating a wall of fire to keep Link from escaping.

"Now, have you readiness for THIS?" Fawful asked Link. Link narrowed his eyes and unsheathed his sword.

"Bring it on shorty…" Link said.

Fawful and Link came at each other at full speed; Fawful swung the sharp toothed mouth that was attached to his headgear towards Link, who drove it away with his sword. Link thrusted and slashed his sword at Fawful over and over, but the strange green man weaved and dodged each attack.

"Oh! Oh, I am laughing at you! Har! You idiot of stupidity!" Fawful cackled as he blasted Link into a wall using a fire ball blast from his headgear.

"You shall fall and vanish now as I laugh heartily at you!" Fawful said, charging up another fireball from his headgear. Link weakly looked up and narrowed his eyes. He gripped his sword and waited for the right chance. Fawful fired out a massive green fireball from his headgear, which Link quickly knocked away with his sword. The fireball slammed into Fawful, igniting his body.

"Ouch! Hotness! It is the Overheat!!!" Fawful yelled in pain from being burned. Link took this chance to pull out the diamond ring he had just bought, pulled out a wielding mask and put it on. Fawful had just shook off the flames as Link opened the box, causing a bright flash of light to blind Fawful. When Fawful's eyes recovered from the light, Link was gone.

"Grrrrr… I HAVE FURY!!" Fawful yelled in anger. "Matter no way, I who is Fawful shall crush that fink-rat Link someday coming soon!" With that, Fawful activated his headgear's jetpack and flew off into the night sky.

---

That night, Zelda was in her room, chewing on a S'mores bar while thinking of what she was going to do now. She had to be wed within a month of her father's death or else she'll lose the title of the throne.

"But not even Link would want to marry a fat-ass like I've become…" Zelda said softly, looking down at her large body. Her face had gotten a lot softer in the past months, and her cheeks bones weren't visible at all anymore. She had grown a cute double chin that looked as if it was planning to make a new one anytime soon.

Her breasts had finally stopped growing, much to her relief, as it was getting really hard to keep changing bra sizes every month or so. Her enormous belly made it quite difficult to get around. She usually had to pull herself out of bed in the mornings with all her strength. It also kept her from seeing her legs or feet at all; weather she was sitting or standing.

In a way, it was probably a good thing she couldn't see below the equator, as she would go into shock seeing her much wider thighs and rear end. She couldn't sit in her normal chair anymore at the dinner table and had to have a special one make to help her and her wideness feel be comfortable. All in all, she was about 375 pounds and hating it.

Then, a clunk sound could be heard over at Zelda's window. She turned to see Link had used his Hookshot to grapple up to her window and then crawled in. Dusting himself off and smiled to Zelda saying, "Hey Zel, how you doin?"

"Terrible…" muttered Zelda. Link gulped. He had a pretty good idea of why she was feeling that way but decided to play dumb. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"What do I mean? What do I mean?!?" Zelda yelled.

"Yeah, that's what I asked…" Link said, feeling really stupid for asking that.  
"Look at me!" Zelda yelled, slowly getting up and grabbing a chunk of her belly and tugging on it. "I've become a freakin whale! I swear, I feel like the Goodyear blimp!"

"What's that?" Link asked in confusion.

"I don't know…" Zelda said, "But I've gotten so fat I can barely get up under my own power anymore!" Zelda sobbed softly, and all Link could do was walk up to her and wrap his arms around her… um… he just took her hand.

"Zelda… come on…" Link said, "It'll be alright…"

"No it won't be!" Zelda yelled, "I have to be married within a month or else I'll lose the family's name to the throne… but who will marry me now that I'll such an unattractive lardo?"

Link knew this was his moment of truth… it was either ask her now or suffer the consequences. Taking a big gulp, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box.

"Zel…" Link started, "I know you've gained quite a bit of weight over time… but you're still the same sweet, caring, intelligent, funny, sweet…"

"You said sweet twice." Zelda interrupted, in confusion as to what Link was planning.

"Oh yeah, um… … … I lost my train of thought…" Link said.

"Funny." Zelda said.

"Oh yeah, funny and beautiful girl I feel in love with so long ago… I don't care how big you've gotten, I don't care if you get any bigger… I'll still love you just the same…" Link said as he got down on his knee and looked up at her.

"Zelda… will you marry me?" he asked. Zelda's eyes teared up as she answered with a "Yes Link! I will!"

Link smiled and handed her a wielding mask. She put it on with a bit of confusion as Link put one on himself. He opened the box, revealing the ridiculously bright ring. He took it and tried his hardest to put it around her finger, but unfortunately her fingers had plumped up along with her body, making it quite difficult.

"Uh… maybe I can have it converted into an earring or something." Link said putting the ring back into the box and closing it. Zelda giggled and pulled Link into a bear hug.

"Face… squeeze… hug… breasts…" Link said in a muffled voice.

---

The wedding was scheduled two weeks after Zelda's 18th birthday, and Zelda weight slightly ballooned up over that time. At 389 she was only 11 pounds more away from the big 4. Her wedding dress was huge, but the streamers were secretly worried that she'd burst out of it before the wedding was over.

When Link and Zelda made the announcement on her birthday, Midon was furious that not only did Fawful not succeed in killing Link, but also he was seriously running out of time. He had only one chance now…

---

The night before the wedding, Link was sleeping in the guest room, dreaming about his future with his soon-to-be bride. As he slept however, a shadowy figure crept into his room, holding a knife. The figure slowly walked up to Link's bed, grinned wickedly, and held the knife up.  
"So long Hero of Time…" the figure whispered as he thrusted the knife towards Link's chest. The knife was knocked away however, by Link's sword. The figure staggered backwards in shock as Link climbed out of bed, rubbed his eyes and lit the candle by his bed.

"Okay Midon… game's over…" Link said, holding his sword firmly as he narrowed his eyes at Zelda's advisor.

"But… that's impossible!" Midon exclaimed, "How did you know what I had planned to do?!?"

"I went back a few pages in the fan fic and read your plans…" Link said, narrowing his eyes. "What you did was really sick… playing with Zelda like that… using her to help you become king…"

"Heh… you're more clever then I thought…" Midon said, pulling out a knife from his boot. "But now you must die…"

"I think not… You're going to pay for what you did to my fiancée…" Link said. He reached under the guest bed and pulled out a small box with a tiny door on it. A loud roar came from the box, making Midon step back.

"Wha-what was that?!?" Midon stuttered.

"Navi…" Link said opening the door, "sic 'em."

With that, a fairy shot out from the door and growled viscously, foam coming from wherever her mouth was. She turned to Midon and looked at him with blood red eyes. Midon tried to turn and make his escape, but it was useless…

A loud blood-curling scream was heard that night, followed by silence, then a loud belch.

---

"Do you Link, take Zelda to be your lawfully wedding wife?" Rauru asked the blond haired elven boy. The Sage of Light was at the altar of the Temple of Time with Link and Zelda in front of him. Next to Link was his sworn brother and best man, Darunia. By Zelda were her three horribly dressed bridesmaids, Saria, a very pissed Ruto and Nabooru.

'What the hell does she see in a tubbo like her?!?' thought Ruto.

"I do…" Link said with a bright smile.

"Zelda, same question, names reversed." Rauru said to Zelda.

"I do…" Zelda said in a similar fashion.

"If there is anyone who does think these two should be married, let them speak now or forever hold their peace…" Rauru spoke out. A good majority of the people in the crowd that had gathered for the wedding raised their hands.

"…besides the single Hylians." Rauru continued, rolling his eyes. All the girls that had raised their hands lowered them.

"…or single Zoras…" Rauru then said, making Ruto put her hand down in anger.

"…or people who go to WG sites or forums…" Rauru said, making the guys in the crowd lower their hands.

"Very well then. " Rauru said, "By the power invested in me and the Hylian Last Minute Wedding Organization, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss… each other."

With that, Link put his arms around Zelda's neck quickly and kissed her with the bail still over her face. He stopped and looked around.

"Uh, should the bail be up?" he asked confusingly, causing laughter throughout the temple.

---

That night Link kicked open the door to the master bedroom of the castle, trying his hardest to carry Zelda in and having very little luck doing so.

"Hmm… hold on a minute." Link said. He pulled out the Golden Gauntlets from the Spirit Temple and used their power to help him lift Zelda in his arms. Though with the extra lift in power, he still struggled over to the bed and plopped Zelda down on it.

"Aw Link," Zelda said giggling, "You're so sweet."

"I aim to please." Link said with a smile and a deep breath. He kicked off his shoes and laid down on the bed beside his new bride.

"So… uh… what else do couples do on their weddings?" Link asked. Zelda grinned and whispered into his ear, making his face pale a bit.

"Uh oh." He said.

---

Link whistled to himself as he sat on a chair in a local clothing store in Kakariko Village, waiting for Zelda to come out of the dressing room.

"Okay Link, what do you think?" Zelda asked coming out of the changing room. Link looked to Zelda and nearly had a nosebleed, seeing her in a cute pink baby shirt and a size 5 pair of black jeans. A few weeks ago something like this wouldn't be possible, but now at 116 pounds it was no problem.

After a bad experience on their wedding night that almost squashed Link, Zelda decided to muster up some willpower and drop her weight. Thankfully, they found an ancient technique that was guaranteed to have results.

"Nabooru was right, that Subway diet really did the trick!" Link said smiling and giving his wife a kiss.

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Yeah, so she dropped the weight in the end. My friend never said I couldn't do that. Ha! XP

Anyway the moral is: Never bet my friend that he can't beat Event 51 of Super Smash Bros Melee using Pichu. Oo

Good day to you all, if you enjoyed this fic please review! 


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